I was thinking the other day about this journey we are on...and its purpose. I realized something, maybe all of you already know this but I just thought of it in a different way. The Lord knows everything, he knows our hearts and our futures. But we don't, we don't remember the past and we don't know whats in the future. These trials are a test, a test to prove to the Lord that we will turn to Him, choose Him in our hour of need and trust Him even when our lives feel shattered around us. But as I was thinking about it, He already knows, He doesn't need us to prove to Him. In a way the human mind cannot comprehend He knows past, present and future. He knows what we need before we ask for it, prayer and asking is for us, not Him...we must be humble and willing to ask. The Bible Dictionary says this about prayer:
"The object of prayer is not to change the will of God, but to secure for ourselves and for others blessings that God is already willing to grant, but that are made conditional on our asking for them."
And our choice to trust Him when a trial comes is for us, we have trials so that we can be tested and learn our own strength. That our testimonies may grow. It is not so much to prove to Him, He already knows, its to prove to ourselves and help us grow to return to Him. Am I making any sense? It is hard for me to put into words. I don't know if I'm explaining it very well. Anyway...that was my latest epiphany. And maybe this is just the gospel according to Amy and I am way off.
On another note, my friend Natalie who lost her sweet Victoria about 12 years ago posted this on her blog today and I LOVED it. I love this movie, it is so sad but really good. This clip illustrates so well some of my feelings...Natalie says it best on her blog:
"I could go on and on about this 10 minute clip. But really, my words are not necessary. Every second of the clip is pure and true to life. It's all there: sadness, grief, sorrow, anger, judgement, passion, friendship, empathy, joy, laughter, peace, redemption, forgiveness, fear, love, and hope for the future....just like the lives of each and every one of us...regardless of the struggles we face."
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I'm a 33 year old mother to a beautiful angel baby, Alexis Lynne. She was stillborn January 15, 2009 due to a cord accident. This blog was a place for me to write my feelings and thoughts about the experience. I hope its a place that others can learn and grow from too. I'm sincerely sorry if you are having to go through a similar trial right now. Please feel free to email me!! amywhitney85@gmail.com
5 comments:
I adore that movie. But I have not be able to watch it because of its sad ending.
She speaks my heart thats for sure.
*hugs*
Wow, I haven't seen that movie for such a long time, but it is such a perfect clip that captures so many of the raw, real emotions of loss.
I read the bible dictionary on prayer a few months after Branson's passing, and I learned so much in just those few little paragraphs. Like you said, the Lord already knows...the hard part is putting all of our trust completely in him and his plan for us...that it's perfect and beautiful even when it's hard.
Love that movie it is a great one. I def agree that we are being tested, and that we don't know and see the bigger picture. We will someday though.
Thanks Amy, I REALLY needed that today. The Lord only knows, and there was nothing I could do to change his plan for me or for Kooper. I love to read your posts!
Thanks for sharing.
I know that you don't know me. But I was blog surfing and came across your blog. I would just like to let you know how much it has touched my life and made my testimony grow. I came across this poem of "I Am a Child of God" I hope it helps you and some of your Angel mommy friends. My thoughts and prayers are with all of you.I have two children of my own and can't even imagine the struggles that you are going through at this time.
I am a child of God and He has called me home. My earthly journey's through but still, I do not walk alone. He leads me, guides me, walks beside me, helps me find the way. He welcomed me with open arms. I live with Him today.
I am a child of God and I have gone ahead. My earthly life was brief but oh, such peace and love you gave. You loved me, held me, stood beside me and though I cannot stay. You gave me much to help me and I live with Him today.
I am a child of God and I will wait for you. Celestial glory shall be ours, if you can but endure. I'll lead you, guide you, walk beside you. Help you find the way. I'll welcome you with open armsOne bright Celestial day.
--Donna Kulliard
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