The New Year

I thought I would be elated at the end of 2009 and the beginning of 2010. 2009 has been a very very very TRYING year, for us and for my family. I almost expected to have the feeling of "good riddance 2009, don't hit yourself while going out the door!". But I was surprised to feel a little resistance inside myself at the coming of the New Year. Though 2009 has been very hard, it was also the year Alexis was alive, died and was born...in that order. Its the year we met our first baby. As the New Year came I found part of myself wanting to hold on to 2009, I guess part of me felt like with the new year a part of Alexis would be lost. But she isn't, she is coming with us into 2010 and will always be a part of our lives. I am holding a lot of hope for 2010 to be the year we have a healthy, live baby...I just can't wait. There are moments where I literally think I'm going to burst out of my skin with impatience on a lot of fronts, for this new baby, for Zach to finally get a reporter job. But I know thats where faith comes in, I just have to trust in the Lord, that His will and His timing is best. But boy is it HARD sometimes!