Be Still My Soul

Note: I started writing this post not even realizing Zach had done a post!! Little sneaky guy! :) Go below and read Alexis' father's thoughts, theres a link to his version of the whole story too. I love him so much, I'm so glad he is mine forever, he continues to be such a strength to me.

One of my very favorite hymns is "Be Still My Soul". I think I've always loved the hymn but it wasn't until my freshman year in college that the song took on a more personal meaning and seemed to become an anthem for me and my roommate. It seemed that the song came up often that year and was such a balm to our hurting souls. We had lots of fun, good times that year of course but we did have some very hard, soul searching times too. And "Be Still My Soul" became our theme.

I don't remember everything about the stay in the hospital when we lost Alexis, but I do remember getting induced and having lots of time to wait and at one point we tried to get some sleep. We had our computer there and I felt such a need to listen to some soothing music. As I've often shared here, music has a special way of helping me work through emotions and get them out. We opened up our itunes and downloaded a couple comforting songs. I remember distinctly laying there with Zach, holding each other and just letting our souls cry as these songs played. We downloaded two different versions of "Be Still My Soul" at some point and it was often that we played it over the next few days. I remember being at home that first day or two and us playing those songs often, softly. It was a very hard but spiritual time. I think we felt heaven very close on those days. So when we were planning our baby's funeral I of course wanted a musical number. If I thought I could have made it through I would have sang but I wasn't about to attempt that so we asked my Grandma to sing "Be Still My Soul". My Grandma has a PHENOMENAL voice, she used to be in the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. One of my biggest regrets from those few days was that we didn't record the funeral service. My Grandma did such a perfect, angelic job at singing the song I wish so much that I had a copy. It was just perfect. And so now, the song "Be Still My Soul" will always have an even extra special place in my heart. It will always remind me of my angel, in a good way. The words really are so beautiful and bring me great comfort...heres a video to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir singing it and the lyrics.



Be Still My Soul
by Catharina von Schlegel, 1697-?
Translated by Jane Borthwick, 1813-1897
Be still, my soul; the Lord is on thy side;
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul; thy best, thy heavenly, Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.
Be still, my soul; thy God doth undertake
To guide the future as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence, let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul; the waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them while He dwelt below.
Be still, my soul; the hour is hastening on
When we shall be forever with the Lord,
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul; when change and tears are past,
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.